Lady Gaga is opening up about the complications of fame in the wake of the release of her new Netflix documentary, Gaga: Five Foot Two.
The 31-year-old “Million Reasons” singer wrote an emotional note to fans on social media Thursday, explaining that her documentary film helped her see herself in a whole new way.
“I found myself witnessing myself in a way I am unable to see on my own,” she said, of watching the movie — which follows the Grammy-winner through the ups-and-downs of the past year of her life, capturing everything from the making of her Joanne album and her Super Bowl halftime show performance to her role in American Horror Story: Roanoke and the aftermath of her split from fiancé Taylor Kinney.
“I felt proud, I felt sadness, I felt empowered, I felt vulnerable….but what struck me the most was the film’s authenticity in the way [director Chris Moukarbel] chose to show my lowest lows, my highest highs, and the close relationship with my family that I clung to fiercely while writing my album Joanne,” she wrote.
Gaga also found the film a great reflection of the complicated feelings she has towards fame.
“Although surreal, happy, and also hard, I’m most touched that the veil behind the aura of my family reveals that fame is not all it’s cracked up to be,” she wrote. “It is lonely, it is isolating, and it is very psychologically challenging because fame changes the way you’re viewed by people.”
“For me, it feels very unnatural but complicated because I know it is my destiny to be a performer,” Gaga continued. “Yet I am so humbled by the side of family that breeds love from the world, the voice I’ve been given by my fans to spread messages of empowerment and equality, the fortunate life it’s brought to me and my family and how we can now give to others in need. I’m just a girl trying to become a woman, who loves to write music, to sing, to play piano, guitar, dance, perform, and act. A girl who loves her fans and wants them to grow with her, as we symbiotically empower one another to be braver and kinder.”
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Elsewhere in the note, Gaga explained why she wrote her latest album.
“I wrote Joanne to help understand my physical and emotional pain through my family’s history of the death of my aunt at a young age in 1974 of the autoimmune diseaselLupus,” she said. “I wrote Joanne to heal me and find the strength to power through everything, with the determination I learned from my Italian Immigrant family. ”
She also took time to thank Moukarbel for his hard work on the film.
“I saw this film for the first time with everyone in the Princess of Wales Theatre at the Toronto International Film Festival,” she wrote. “And I’m happy I trusted the creative process with Chris in this way. I could not possible by objective about myself. This is a collaboration where I blindly went “all in” because I trusted his talent and he believed in mine. Thank you Chris. Thank you Bobby my manager, Live Nation, and Netflix. And thank you little monsters. I might not always give the world exactly what they expect of me. But make no mistake, it’s always the true me.”
Gaga: Five Foot Two is available to stream on Netflix now.
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